Adoption Options

Please check back soon for more info.

There are so many unique options when it comes to adoption that it can often be overwhelming. My best advice: Talk to someone who has done it to gather info. If you don't know anyone who has adopted, talk to me at!

Worried about money for your adoption? Check out this link for our fundraising how-to (we raised $10,000 in one night!), and this link for grant can get a lot of money for your adoption with a little paperwork!

A few things to consider first...

Domestic or International? 
Domestic=From your home country. Costs range from FREE (in some cases, if you go through the state) to $50,000 (in extreme circumstances, like ours). 

International=From another country. You usually will not get a young infant, as it takes a bit for the adoption to be processed. Depending on the country, children ages 6 months + are usually available. Costs range from $15,000-$40,000. Children are available from a variety of countries. Visit the "Intercountry Adoption" page of the Bureau of Consular Affairs to find information for specific countries.

Private or public? 
Private adoptions are done through agencies, while public adoptions or done through the state via foster care, usually. Private adoptions allow you to have a fair amount of control over the child you would like to adopt, as well as biological parents and background. Public adoptions are inexpensive and are usually associated with non-infants who live in foster care. 

Open, semi-open, or closed? 
This was a huge question mark as we began our adoption. Open adoptions allow the biological mother ("birthmom") and/or biological father to visit and/or see the child as he or she grows up. This is simply an agreement between the birth parent(s) and the adoptive parents, and the stipulations will vary for each family involved. Some people in open adoption agreements invite biological parents to Christmas and birthday parties; some simply allow the birth parent(s) to visit with the child once a year (that's us). Open adoptions mean that the birth parent(s) and the adoptive parents know a lot about one another and usually exchange contact info. 

Semi-open adoptions (what we thought we'd signed up for!) mean the birth parents and adoptive parents share some information and keep in contact through the agency. Adoptive parents might write letters to update the biological parents about the child's progress, which are sent to the birth parent(s) via the agency used for the adoption. 

Closed adoptions mean the birth parent(s) and the adoptive parents have no contact. 

Personal info: As I mentioned earlier, we are in an open adoption agreement with Brody's birthmom. We texted her and talked to her on the phone a lot, especially through the tough parts of the adoption, and we took him to meet her near her home last year when he turned one. We decided to agree to an open adoption (and would have also agreed to a semi-open adoption, which is what we thought we sign up for) because we felt the birthmom needed to know that she made a great decision when she gave Brody life, we wanted her to know that he is an AMAZING little boy, and we wanted her to see that her decision to make an adoption plan was good for his future. However, these agreements are not legally binding, so if we (or anyone who makes an open plan) feel that it's best for his well-being if he doesn't know or see much of his birthmom, we will scale back. (We haven't heard from her in a little while, anyway.) 

Infant or waiting child?
Newborns are a bit easier as far as their adjustment goes (but they are an adjustment for you!!). They don't ask questions right off the bat and they don't have hangups, disappointments, abuse, neglect, and fear lingering in their hearts, which many waiting children have. 

However, I will say this: Waiting children REALLY need to be adopted, as there are 100,000 in the US alone (and millions and millions throughout the world). That's 100,000 little kids right here who have no Mom or Dad, and who are waiting on "someday" to have forever families. That breaks my heart. Just consider adopting a waiting child, that's all I ask. 
Got it all figured out yet?
Here are more resources for you to look into:

Domestic: Start looking for agencies in your area if you are interested in a private adoption (particularly if you want to adopt an infant)
Adoption from Foster Care in Missouri 
Waiting Child Lists from various websites

PRIVATE AGENCIES: (i will continue to add to this list)
     All Blessings International --
     Holt International --
     Bethany Christian Services --
     Dillon Adoptions --
     Love Basket --


     All Blessings International --
     Holt International --
     Bethany Christian Services --
     Dillon Adoptions --
     Love Basket --

1 comment:

  1. Wow, so much information. Thank you for taking the time to put all of this together. I'm sure this will come in handy for me in the near future. Also, I am so sorry about the twins. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling. Just remember that they were never truly yours to begin with. They are God's children and they are exactly where he wants them to be. I know you already know that, though. Love you!