Monday, September 28, 2015

confessions

Occasionally, I feel the need to share confessions for the entire earth to read (in theory), just in case someone out there thinks I'm cool or a good wife or a good mother, or even a good person in general.

Here we go...

1. My sweet and perfect little boys poured an entire tub of cat food onto our back deck yesterday, and I about lost it. (While trekking through the kitchen, they dropped a few pieces at a time with each trip from the storage tub in the garage to the back. Grand total on the kitchen floor: 2 cups. I told them to clean up every bit of it (unreasonable, considering half of it was stuck in the cracks between boards of the deck). When they got distracted and started sweeping the concrete below the deck, then started catching bugs, I was so full of anger and annoyance I had to force myself back inside to take a "moment" to get myself together. It was not a pretty Tuesday afternoon.

2. Our cat was probably thrilled with the boys' activities, because it has been weeks since someone actually took the time to put cat food in his bowl on the deck. (He is usually forced to a life hacking it in the woods or bending his head awkwardly into the rubbermaid where the food is kept in the garage. Poor Banjo has dropped significantly on the list of "important inhabitants" in the Lotz household.

3. I have eaten warmed cookie dough with ice cream and chocolate syrup on top as a lunch dessert every day for the last 6 days (at the very least).

4. No one has ever accused me of having a clean house. No one. It might (sometimes) be "picked up," but it has never even sniffed the term "clean" (unless Brad and I go out of town for a bit and my mom sneaks in and cleans, probably because she is appalled).

5. I have had one million thoughts in my head to write about but only one hand to write with, as Oaklee prefers being snuggled, and I'm not going to deny her of that just yet.

6. On a similar note, I am a terrible mom because I allow her to sleep on my chest in the night. (Co-sleeping for the win. I can't help it. I like sleep and she likes to snuggle.)

7. I have, in fact, resented my husband for 1) placing a baby inside of me and forcing me to be pregnant, then endure labor (which wasn't even that bad); and 2) not being able to breastfeed a baby so she didn't need to be virtually attached to me 24/7. I'm working past it now.

8. One of our children is having some serious meltdowns lately. He will remain nameless.

9. I would hate for anyone to see my google history. Not that I'm looking up things that I should not be looking up, but more because I have been having some pretty odd questions about life, babies, toddlers, child development, etc.

10. Oaklee grunts more than a pug. For real.

11. Air fresheners are covering a multitude of sins in this house.

12. I have had to have a fake conversation between my irrational self and my rational self regarding the furniture in our house. Our couches are getting old, stained and smelly (oh-so-smally), and my irrational self would love to go buy new ones. However, my rational self has to intercede and talk irrational self out of doing so because these tiny humans would destroy new couches almost immediately.

13. A minivan is calling my name. I am now excited about looking for a minivan. I actually drool and imagine a more enjoyable and less cluttered life in my future when one drives by me. Yes, I am coveting minivans. I don't even know myself anymore.

I must leave you there. My cuddle-monster needs to be reaffirmed that she is loved.