Sunday, August 2, 2015

no show

We spent much of the weekend at the lake with friends. It was good to get away, but it was also good to not be so far away that A) We couldn't still make it to Labor & Delivery if needed, and B) I couldn't still check my email for adoption news. 

I woke up early on Friday morning and immediately checked my email for adoption updates, just in case. I wasn't necessarily expecting anything, but it's a habit I've developed over the last two years. 

(Adoptive parent salute...this is how we roll: Wake up--check email. Check Facebook group board for movement in DRC adoptions. Email notification chimes--check email again. Finish breakfast--check email. Clean up breakfast mess--check spam folder, just in case. And so on and so on, until we finally close our eyes at night after one last email check.)

It was 6:30 AM, which means it was 12:30 PM DRC-time. I saw an email from the Embassy in my inbox, but before I could get to it my phone died. (Darn that vacation-mode forgetfulness of not bringing regular charging devices. Heart racing with the possibility of news regarding our Child Finder interview on Thursday, I headed out to the car to charge my phone.

A few minutes felt like hours until my phone finally had enough charge in it to function. I slid it into email mode and opened it, then my heart sank. Our Child Finder (the person who found sweet, abandoned Baby Clementine in DRC), didn't make it to his appointment. Again. Last time he said the guards didn't have his name so he couldn't get it. This time, I don't know what happened. 

It's so disheartening to have no explanation of why he didn't show and, most importantly, to have no control over whether or not he will ever show up for this appointment in the future. 

The good news is I didn't come undone with the bad news this time, as I did with the first missed appointment. After all, we had the lake to enjoy, and I have realized that it isn't right--particularly for my family--to let delays like this that are out of my control take over my attitude, emotions and sanity. 

After all, we are not the first ones to experience this sort of thing. Several other adoptive parents said this has happened to them, and it took multiple tries to have a successful appointment. 

That said, it's still difficult for me to understand what is happening in this situation. To me, an appointment at an Embassy is a HUGE deal. If I were in this man's shoes, I would take the appointment and my confirmation of attending it very seriously. However, a very flexible and fluid schedule seems to be a cultural thing in DRC. Add to that the CRAZY traffic situation, and it seems plausible that "something came up" to impede him from attending his second appointment.

I have requested another appointment (third time), and I continue to pray that he shows up for it and provides clear information about the night he found our daughter. (I will also be begging my agency to send someone to help him get to his appointment.) 

I'm not sure what will happen if he never shows, and I do not want to find out. Furthermore, we need to get her visa ASAP so that if anything were to shift in favor of Exit Letters given to all we can get her in her permanent HOME with us. We miss her terribly, and three of us haven't even met her yet.