Saturday, July 25, 2015

happy birthday, Sweet Clementine

Sweet Clementine,

Oh, how we hoped and prayed you'd be here to celebrate your second birthday with us, your family.

I fall asleep thanking God for your little life. For the smiles and giggles you shared with Daddy on his trip, for the laughs and smiles you share with others, for your sassy little stares and the way you blow bubbles and back away so they don't land on your face. For the way you lit up with Daddy around and loved his big black beard in a way that even I don't. :o)

I wake up in the middle of the night. Whether it's from longing to hold you or yearning to hold your baby sister, I spend many nights wide awake in the dark. I pray for you every time I awaken like that. I pray you are safe and healthy. I pray you know you are SO LOVED from across the ocean. I pray you know that God loves you and wants what is best for you. I pray that God is preparing you to join our family (and I'd say He is, with all of those older boys and now a younger girl in your foster home...you'll feel right at home here).

And I pray that He will say the Word that will end this mess and bring you home to us sooner than we can imagine.

I am thankful you have a great foster home in DRC. Your caretakers love you and care for you in the very best way possible, and I pray for them, too. They are saintly. However, they are not your forever family and I hope that wen it's time for you to join our family you will understand that a foster home isn't what's best for you in the long run. You need a forever family, and we need you.

You are stuck in DRC for now, and I am not sure when you'll join us here. I had hoped you'd already be here. Although it would have made life crazy, I even prayed God would bring you to us at the same time He brings Baby Sister, but that looks very unlikely. As much as I get onto Brody about whining, I have sure whined to God about this often. I have had temper tantrums and meltdowns and every other childish reaction to this mess, but I think God understands, just as a parent understands that sometimes life is overwhelming for a toddler (particularly when one is tired). Right now, I am just an exhausted child longing for my child. This situation is full of hurt.

We faced another setback in our process and more unpleasant rumors about the situation this week. In addition, another child died this week, while waiting on one measly little Exit Letter. You'd better believe I cried to God and complained to Him once again. I reminded Him how much we love you, how much the other families love their children, how senseless all of this is. Yet again, He reminded me, in different ways, that He is in control and undaunted, and He knows our pain. (I even got a letter in the mail from a COMPLETE stranger, telling me how God provided for her as a widow and explaining that she was praying for our family. Did she even know that we are in the midst of a difficult adoption, how hard this week has been for us, how we have craved a morsel of good news?)

Sweet Clementine, we adore you. We are waiting for you. We are fighting for you and pleading for you to join us here. Your brothers ask DAILY when you will be here. So do I. I pray you are having a great birthday in DRC, even if you don't know this day is special. We hope to make it up to you when you join us here.

With All Our Love and a Million Tears Across a Million Miles,

Mommy, Daddy, Brody, Brecken (and Baby O in Mommy's belly)



(READERS: We are making another push with Congress to get our girl, along with 400-ish others, home soon. I have a script that you can copy and paste to send to your Congresspeople if you care to give Clementine your advocacy as a birthday gift. Please contact me (lotzfam@att.net) if you'd like the script. At this point, we just need as many people in Congress as possible to pay attention and do all they can to bring kids home. They are now seeing this as a true crisis, as they should, and they need some simple direction, which you can help provide.)