Thursday, December 18, 2014

a gentle spirit

The Today Show--well, technically Hoda and Kathie Lee's show, but I'd rather not admit that it was on in our house--shared the story of a little girl who was abandoned at birth and later adopted from an orphanage in China. 

(Link to KL and H story here: http://m.today.com/klgandhoda/jessica-carscadden-abandoned-birth-devotes-her-life-others-1D80377991)

At twelve years old, she is now dedicating her life to helping others. Someone from a show on Broadway (I missed this detail) wrote a song for her, which was then performed for her and her parents live on the KL and Hoda Show. 

And that's when I started crying. Because her life is precious, and it made me think of precious C, how she is still WAITING for the chance to join a family like the girl on the show, and how we are still WAITING to make her our official daughter and give her a permanent home. 

Brody looked up and saw my tears. 

"Mom, are you sick?"

"No, I'm not sick," I said, trying not to make a big deal of it. Yes, my heart breaks with the ache of arms that are waiting, but I also want my kids who are here to know that they are enough. 

"What's making you sad?"

"I just miss your sister," I said. "I wish she could be home with us."

And with that, he was up in my lap, hugging my neck and rubbing my back and kissing my wet cheek, saying, "I'm sorry, Mom. It's okay."

I hugged him and let him hug me and rub my back, like we were reversing roles for a bit and he was the comforter after I'd just fallen and skinned a knee.

Then I got up to wipe my face. He followed me to the tissues and said he wanted to wipe my face, which I allowed him to do because his gentle little heart probably really did want to help make it all better, and this was his way to doing so.

He wiped my eyes with the tenderness of  an 80-year-old grandmother who is holding a newborn baby. With little blotting motions, he was careful not to poke my eyes or wipe too hard. 

Today I'm thanking God for his precious little sweet and tender heart, the sweet and sassy heart that is his brother, and the sister for whom we continue to wait. 

And I'm asking God to help me be a more gentle spirit like Brody.