Monday, November 17, 2014

waiting and the widow

Yes, another blog post about waiting. We have heard nothing new. An agency rep who was supposed to go to DRC got her passport stolen while on the plane and spent several days on planes or in holding, waiting to come back home. Therefore, there are no feet from our specific agency on the ground to check on C's case and let us know WHY we are still in the court process 13 months later.

(I realize that others have waited much longer...and it breaks my heart to the core. PLEASE watch this video from Both Ends Burning to see what that waiting is all about.)

I could let the waiting drive me crazy (and don't get me wrong...I sometimes do, often at 3 am, which might explain the cold sore overtaking my nose and the dark under-eye circles). However, that's not helpful or beneficial, especially for my kids or husband at home with me. (And I don't think it's necessary when I choose to rest in God's perfect peace.)

Orphans remain heavy on my heart, but I feel more powerless now than ever to help them. I haven't written much about them in a while, and I think it's because I have shut myself off from it for a bit, feeling powerless and frustrated and burdened all at the same time.

However much I'd like to do something more, we are in a bit of a holding pattern.

It wouldn't be wise to start another adoption (from anywhere) right now. DRC's laws state that only two children can be at home to adopt from their country, and although the judges have often overridden that rule in the past to get children into families, there has been talk that they are becoming more strict in that law. We have heard DRC's parliament is rewriting the adoption laws, so we must wait for those to be approved by vote to see what they say. That said, if we were to add to our family while we wait for her to come home, it might put her future with us in jeopardy.

We have discussed foster care. However, we have decided that it wouldn't be fair to a foster child who gets placed with us, only to have to go somewhere else while we travel to get C (which has taken several weeks of traveling in the past).

We aren't in a place where we can give any extra significant financial amount to charities who serve orphans, foster families or biological families who are getting their acts together to get their children back from the State. And honestly, our time is full of other events and ministries and commitments in such a way that we can't even volunteer much of it to help serve.

So what do we do when we want to live by James 1:27 but can't help an orphan through adoption or foster care?

As it turns out, James 1:27 isn't just about orphans. It says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

There are widows, too. They may not be as cute and cuddly as small children, but they are just as in need of a helping hand or a warm smile, and most are probably more lonely than the orphans. 

So I've been praying for God to open my eyes to the widows. Turns out, they are everywhere, just not as noticeable as orphans. 

Some are young with three children and a half-million things to get done themselves by the end of the day. Some are old with children who live across the country without the opportunity to visit. Some are wives and mothers who live as widows until the return of their husbands serving abroad. Some have lost their husbands to other women or other interests. 

Some are old and frail, walking a mile over a narrow bridge in the crippling wind to get to the store. 

And just like that, I saw her...