Thursday, March 20, 2014

the DRC adoption situation

I know I mentioned Wednesday that I would return Thursday with an explanation of the happenings in DRC adoptions.

But then this happened.
His cuteness is so distracting!

And this.
Sleeping/thinking. It seems to all be the same.

And this. Yes, our closet exploded. As in, the shelving literally collapsed.


 So then this happened.


THAT IS A FAKE GUN, people. 

And this. This can be super distracting!

Yep, new pics of Sweet C, sporting the biggest smile ever! 

And baseball outside happened. It was nearly 70 degrees today, people. I can't be expected to be indoors.

And some research at the actual library happened. I know. That's just crazy talk.

But here I am now to explain. I'll start by reminiscing and try to connect the dots for you.

Do you remember a time in grade school when you had a substitute teacher and a few kids acted like fools, throwing crayons or putting chewed gum in people's seats? This would then lead to a bad sub report, which usually meant--in my school, anyway--no recess for the entire class.

One or two people acted like fools, and the whole class was punished for it.

That's kind of what's happening with the adoption situation in DRC (and in the eyes of many people who are judging adoptive parents), but it's on a grander scale and something much more important than recess is being taken away. A chance at life with a family is being taken away. The chance to be raised with loving parents is being taken away. The chance for a new future, despite the hurts of the past, is being taken away.

It's being taken away for now, at least.

We are still waiting for DGM to lift the suspension on the issuance of Exit Letters. You can read an explanation of this in earlier posts, but it essentially means that parents who have finalized adoptions in DRC are unable to take their children home. Therefore, the kids must remain in orphanages or foster homes until the suspension is over.

DGM issued the suspension because of reports of abuse and rehoming of adopted children in the US and elsewhere and because a very small number of adoption agencies were unethical. These agencies acted selfishly and without regard for the value of others, children and hopeful adoptive parents alike.

At this point, the suspension will last until at least September.

But, obviously, we hope it will be lifted earlier. A US delegation has traveled to DRC to meet with officials there and to learn more about the adoption process. A delegation from DRC is planning to come to the USA to check on adoptive families in the future. This is what we hear, anyway.

But here's the problem: On the very same day that the US delegation was supposed to meet with officials in DRC, a woman was caught trying to sneak children across the border. I don't have specific details about whether or not she was an adoptive mom, but I do know that this hurts our cause.

She is that kid. The one who put her needs above others despite the consequences everyone might have to face. She is that kid that caused other students to miss recess because she wanted to do what she wanted to do. However, the stakes are higher in this case. People aren't just missing recess; they are missing precious moments with their legally adopted children. And those children are missing opportunities to bond with their parents, to make memories, to smear ice cream all over their faces and sleep in their very own beds and drink perfectly clean drinking water.

The suspension hasn't even affected us to the same degree it has affected other adoptive parents, but I'm already tired of being punished and tired of others being punished because of the unethical and selfish actions of others; it's not fair. I think it happens in life more often than we realize. However, I also recognize that life is sometimes unfair, and I don't blame DGM for wanting to critically assess the adoption situation if they believe people are behaving unethically. I believe they--like ourselves--want children to be treated fairly and lovingly; I can respect that. However, we (along with thousands of others) will continue to prayerfully walk through this situation a day at a time, doing what we know to be right and hoping for good news from DGM soon.

We will pursue Sweet C in the same way we have been pursued by our Father. That's that.

(I know this post will elicit more rude comments from ridiculous people who don't have a clue about our specific situation, Sweet C, our agency, or the DRC adoption world. I will not waste my time on your comments if you are one of those people. Your comments, judgments and rants have no value to me.)