Tuesday, April 5, 2011

help

"Be not far from me; for trouble is near; for there is none to help." Ps. 22:11

"Give us help from trouble: for vain is the help of man." Ps. 60:11

"Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O LORD. Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications."

I don't know that there are any more situationally applicable pleas to God written in the Bible than the ones written above. We have literally been calling attorneys, social services, our adoption agency, and friends of friends all day long in order to get help for this situation. 99% of our efforts seem to be in vain. We know that God is in control but it is so hard to understand why all of this is happening.

We seem to have our hands tied with this. Brody is still in our care, and the birth mother is still strongly in favor of this adoption, but it seems that there is nothing that we can do to 1) expedite the process, or 2) cross state lines with Brody until we get a final court ruling regarding the termination of parental rights. We have called at least 10 attorneys in both our own state and the one we are in now, and we have not found anyone who can give us much hope (or who was very sympathetic to the situation, for that matter) for getting back to our state.

ICPC (Interstate Compact on Placement of Children) is the regulating force involved, and we must submit paperwork in order to get ICPC clearance to cross state lines with Brody. However, since Brody's birth mother's termination of parental rights hearing was pushed back, ICPC clearance is much more difficult to obtain. Our adoption agency has told us that if we are here another 6 weeks (in addition to the 3 we've already spent here) they will look into filing ICPC paperwork for us (since essentially they are the ones with temporary custody). We say why not work on that now? According to several people, we will be here at least 30 more days WAITING, and it could be several months. I sent an email to our agency BEGGING them to work on ICPC right now; they say they are working on it today. I'll let you know.

If you are wondering why the birth mother's termination of parental rights court date was pushed back (it was supposed to be last Tuesday), it's because if she terminated her rights it would leave Brody wide open to this meth head who is claiming to be the father. That's not in Brody's best interests. However, living in a hotel room is not in his best interests either, so it's a catch-22. Not that we would, but several people have advised us to put him into foster care while we come back to our home to take care of things and wait for the process to unfold. That is not an option, as his birth mother was very adamant from the beginning about getting him into our hands so that he is not in a temporary home. (And like I said, we won't to do that.)

The DNA testing is supposedly "in the courts" somewhere, meaning the court system will probably get to it sometime in 2011 or 2012. several lawyers we've spoken to say we need to have someone (ie lawyer) pushing that through the courts for us, OR we need to voluntarily get a private company to do DNA testing (Our Cost:$500-$1500).

More on the potential birth father:
(He's serving jail time for trafficking meth, has failed to appear for several court hearings, and has been in possession of marijuana in the past.) He is from the same (very) small town as the birth mother, and his family is well-known in the community. His parents own a farm and have money. It's possible that either his father or his grandfather was a state representative. Basically, his family situation makes it very possible that they have influence over judges, so we think we need to have all later trials moved to the county we are in, as opposed to the county in which this potential father lives. Too much "adjusting" of the law could occur there. From what I've gathered, he is just one of many potential fathers. (From the beginning, we were led to believe there was only one potential father, and he wanted nothing to do with this baby.)

Sparing the rest of the details and an emotional outpouring of "why won't anyone hear or help us?!?" I will end this post for today. Please continue to keep us, Brody, the birth mother and the lawyers involved in pleading our case before judges (as well as the judges themselves) in your prayers. We can't do this alone. This is proving to be a HUGE battle, and we know that the battle belongs to the Lord.

"Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him:

fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way,
because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass..."