Tuesday, March 29, 2011

the situation

today was supposed to be the day we got parental rights for Brody and were able to leave this county.

however, as i type this i am sitting in the same hotel room i've been in for the past two weeks. but that's of little concern in the grand scheme of things. here's the situation:

we were told last wednesday that a man had come to Brody's birth mother requesting a DNA paternity test. our agency told us nothing would be done until he contacted the birth mother's attorney and formally requested a test. we heard nothing of it in the next few days, so we figured he was just some guy trying to stir up trouble in a small town.

fast forward to yesterday. our agency called to tell us that the man had gotten an attorney and wanted to take a paternity test. therefore, our court date was moved (and is still TBD), because it's not smart to terminate the rights of the birth mother when this guy is out there trying to get rights to the baby.

the birth mother has told us numerous times that he is not the father and that we have nothing to worry about. (but how are we to stop ourselves from worrying?...she might be mistaken.) since filing for the dna test, this guy has gone missing in action, and nothing can get done until the agency finds him to 1) serve him papers for involuntary termination of parental rights, or 2) to get a swab for dna testing.

you might be wondering why it would be possible to serve him papers for involuntary termination of parental rights when he is the one requesting the rights. that would be because he has a court date this friday for trafficking meth (and he thinks he is fit to parent? and he wants to take the baby we LOVE?!) attorneys on both sides of that case think he will go to jail, but that all depends on the judge. also, he could ask for a trial, which could be scheduled for sometime in the distant future, thus stalling everything if his dna matches Brody's because we would need to prove that he is unfit to parent by using his meth case as a reason.

where has he been the last 9 months? why can he not be found now that he has requested a dna test? wouldn't he want to get the dna test done ASAP if he really had the best interested of this precious baby in mind? why is this happening? what if...? will i get to keep my job after being gone for as long as this might take? why? why? why? all of these are questions that have run through my mind, and i have no answers. i have experienced the full range of emotions, from hurt to anger to anxiety to fear to moments of peace to downright weepy. however, coacher and i must continue to remind myself that God's plans are awesome and he will be glorified in this. i am thankful to have him here to speak Truth and be a solid rock.

our agency is doing everything possible to get this sorted out. my parents have come back to this town to be with me and Brody while coacher coaches some baseball games back home. our friends and family have lifted us up in prayer and strengthened us with their encouraging words and kindness, and now we wait. we are so thankful and blessed to have such amazing people in our lives, and we cannot say thank you enough for their thoughts and prayers.

please continue to pray, as we know that "the effectual fervant prayer of a righteous man availeth much." i have prayed that dna proves that this guy is not the father, that this guy gets locked up for a long time and ruled unfit to parent, that the judges in all cases involved rules in our favor, that things go quickly, and that we two and the birth mother will have peace. (she remains committed in her decision to make an adoption plan and we have a very good relationship with her. she is also stressed and just as ready for closure and for us to take Brody home as we are.

here is some more Truth that has helped me keep perspective and peace (and thank you to our dear friends who have sent these words our way):

"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:16

"The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry. The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. The righteous cry and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all. He keepeth all his bones: not one of them is broken." - Ps. 34:15-20


  1. I'm still praying for you three as often as you come to mind, which is pretty frequently. Can't wait for you to bring your son home.

  2. The job is no longer a worry, thanks to the amazing people I work for and with.

  3. since we don't really know each other (i teach art at the high school...), i didn't know what was going on with you guys and was glad to get heide's e-mail about checking out your blog.
    just wanted you to know my heart goes out to you & your husband & precious little boy. i'll be praying that the whole ordeal is resolved quickly & you can go home to settle in as a family asap.

  4. HI Jenny, I'm Judy Lytle, Amy's mother-in-law. We have been praying and will continue to pray God will work in marvelous ways to allow you to adopt Brody and be able to return home soon with him.

  5. rachel, we can't wait to bring him home either!

    kate, thanks for your prayers and for caring enough to read and write (and nice to "meet" you!!) i MIGHT have creeped around on your blog a little bit. i like it, and it was a nice diversion from the hotel room. (and i might be coming to you for blog design advice...i used to think i was tech-savvy but my blog has always been a blaaaah-g.)

    judy, thanks so much for your prayers and your caring heart. i get to see phil, amy, and the kids today, so i'm excited (so is Brody)!

  6. Praying for you all. Can't imagine the roller coaster of emotions you all must be on. I am trusting that God will comfort you with His presence during the uncertainty of the situation. Also praying that DNA won't match that dude and that all legal parties involved will have God given wisdom- like Solomon's.