Saturday, March 19, 2011

perfect timing

the title of this post says it all, but i will fill you in with the details as quickly and efficiently as possible...

first of all, feast your eyes on this piece of lotz-lovin':


that's our new baby, charles brody lotz (aka brody), provided everything goes well up until and on march 29 when the courts finalize our adoption. this post outlines the story of how he came into our lives in 2 short months and why it was perfectly timed.

mid-year 2010 - began thinking about international adoption, then decided against it due to the time constraints of our jobs (we both teach and coach...couldn't be out of the country for 2-8 weeks during school year or season) AND the fact that plenty of babies in the US need loving homes.

december 2010 - after learning that there is a great need for adoptive parents for African American/bi-racial babies, decided to be open to adopting a baby of any race.

late December 2010 - "coincidentally" discovered that a couple of new friends of ours were just beginning the home study/adoption process, AND they also planned to adopt a bi-racial or African American baby. "cheated" off of them by just following their footsteps through the adoption process and began home study paperwork for adoption.

january/february 2011 - completed 3 interviews and the home study, as well as our adoption profile for birth mothers to view when choosing a family for their biological children. we also sold our house on february 5 and the new owners wanted into the house february 25. sooo, with little time to find and buy a new house, we moved into my parents' basement. (more on that later...my parents are seriously awesome people.)

march 4 - this was the date on the approval letter for our home study, and the date our profile officially entered circulation into birth mothers' hands.

march 10 - the date we got the approval letter for our home study, since we had moved and the mail was slow getting to us.

march 12 - the first saturday of our spring break. we ate out at ihop and planned a very lazy spring break. (little did we know...) then we headed to coacher's school to work at a few quarterfinal basketball games. got a phone call at about 11:00 am, which went something like this:

coacher answered, and the woman on the other end said, "this is Lydia from ABI. do you have a second to talk?"

coacher said yep, thinking we left something undone on our final paperwork. after that i watched his facial expressions change in radical ways, and mid-way through the conversation he did a fist-pump.

"we showed your profile to a birthmother. i'm not sure if you knew that or not." (nope, we didn't.) "and i'm calling to let you know that you've been chosen. the baby was born wednesday, and we would like you to be in (different state) on monday."

we were shocked, thrilled, excited, anxious, amazed, etc., and we spoke to the birth mother about 20 minutes later (heavy conversation...more on that later).

our thought process: we didn't have to take this one. there would be another baby to come along....the timing wasn't perfect...
1. we didn't have a house of our own;
2. it was the beginning of coacher's baseball season (which in the grand scheme of life doesn't really hold a candle to this opportunity);
3. were we prepared?! (most people wait months, sometimes YEARS to be chosen and get this phone call)
4. i had approximately 7 sick days left in the school year, which would be eaten up quickly by a trip to another state;

BUT the door was open, and we knew we needed/wanted to keep walking through doors until they closed. we agreed to make the trip.

(if you are counting, that's 8 days between our home study approval and being chosen. whoa.)


march 13 - completed a home study addendum so my parent's house could be approved for adoption.

march 14 - drove all day (through SNOW and rain). at one point we accidentally missed a turn, and as it turns out we would have had to turn around if we had made that turn because the bridge crossing the river was out. (coincidence? i think not.) this detour would have cost us an hour, and that time lost might have broken the deal for the birth mother. she wanted us there soon so she could get some closure, and in her fragile state that might have been the straw.... we met the birth mother (who is BEAUTIFUL and handled everything with composure and grace as well as can be expected) and her 3-year-old cutie of a daughter in an applebee's in small-town USA that night. had a great conversation with her, and when we left she was sure she wanted to make an adoption plan with us. she had told the case worker she couldn't do it unless she was 100% sure it was right. and she said it was.

another open door.

march 15 - 11:30 - went to abi to sign paperwork, and they brought baby brody to meet us.

WHAT A DAY!!! i was shaking when they brought him in. he was and is perfect. (if you're counting, that's about 72 hours between first mention of the possibility of having a baby and having the baby in our arms and living with us in a hotel.)


march 18 - coacher's first baseball game, which he missed. coacher's assistant coach's wife is pregnant and DUE ANY DAY during this time, and we were a little bit nervous she would go into labor and leave the baseball team without a coach.

march 20 - coacher's assistant's wife's water broke THE SECOND he stepped into his house after being gone at an away game (which was postponed to a different day due to storms midway through the game).

march 29 - the court date when the final ruling is made regarding parental rights. we are holding our breath until that day comes, praying for peace for brody's birth mother and that all goes smoothly so she doesn't change her mind. we are in love with this little guy!

in conclusion, the timing was more perfect than we could have ever planned for...
1. we were on spring break when we got the call, meaning i didn't have to use my sick days for travel/waiting
2. we were living in my parents' basement (which may not seem like a great scenario, but think about it: if i have questions about the baby, i just walk upstairs! and it's mortgage-free, which is awesome because adoption is SUPER EXPENSIVE [but worth every penny])
3. we will have all summer to cuddle him!
4. it was early in coacher's baseball season, meaning he wouldn't miss the "big games"

perfect timing side note: my discover card earns extra rewards in "travel" (ie--restaurants and hotels) during the month of march. another example of perfect timing, because at this rate we will be earning a BUNCH of money from discover! yet still not enough to fund an adoption. ;o)

please pray for peace and salvation for brody's birth mother and for her two other babies, as well as for us as we try to remain patient while living in a hotel in a distant city (ugh), bleeding money, and waiting for the final ruling, which is about to drive us nuts.